Summer Belchies
by nuwandasirius
Summary: When a neighborhood fire destroyed nearly every restaurant in Ocean Avenue, the Belchers decided that going away on vacation to work for summer cafés while their restaurant undergoing in repairs is in order.
1. Chapter 1

**Summer Belchies**

**Summary**: _When a neighborhood fire destroyed nearly every restaurant in Ocean Avenue, the Belchers decided that going away on vacation to work for summer café's while their restaurant undergoing in repairs is in order._

**Disclaimer**: _This is fan fiction. I own nothing._

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><p>"Oh Bobby I can't believe we're going on vacation!" Linda sang with joy as she packed up the final inner tube and handed it to Bob, who took it and strapped it on top of the car along with their other luggage.<p>

"It's not really a vacation, Lin." Bob couldn't help but correct her as he finished tying up the straps and climbing into the car as soon as he was done. "The street fire mayhem on Ocean Avenue nearly destroyed the entire restaurant."

"Including the house." Louise piped in, already seated at the back of the car with the rest of the Belcher children.

"Which had my framed Matt Damon letter in it!" Gene pitched in as well.

"I still can't believe it took him 8 years to write you back." Tina said to Gene, remembering how Gene's 11 year old self waited in agony for Matt Damon to write back.

"Well it was worth it." Gene said with satisfaction. "And they say a restraining order doesn't count as fan mail." He scoffed in disbelief.

"Gene, it doesn't count as fan mail." Bob said with a heavy sigh.

"YES IT DOES!" The middle Belcher child insisted, as Bob muttered "Oh my god" under his breath, starting up the engine before he started to drive.

"Oh hush Bobby." Linda pouted, refusing to let her excitement be affected. "What are you going to do while the construction workers are fixing the restaurant along with the rest of the damaged ones? Make burgers in the street?"

"I just think we're wasting our time heading out somewhere else." Bob explained. "I mean, I have to work in a beach café with a salary lower than the ones we have and—"

"Like your salary isn't already low." Louise snickered.

"—plus we're staying at my cousin Vanessa's beach house, and you know she's in a cult." He finished, ignoring Louise's comment.

"Speak for yourself." Gene said, sharing his mother's refusal to let his summer fun excitement be ruined by reality. "I'm going to go to the beach every day and learn to surf." He said proudly.

"And I'm going to go with him to point and laugh." Louise grinned. "Plus I can't wait to scare swimmers and pretend to be a shark."

"Awww how nice." Linda cooed, glad that her babies were quite excited. "Well what about you Tina? What are you going to do for the week we're staying there?" she asked.

Tina, who had been quiet for quite some time didn't answer. Her thoughts elsewhere as she rested her head against the glass window of the car. A solemn look appeared on her features as she thought about the restaurants that were damaged. Their restaurant was only partially damaged, which meant the repairs would be quicker than the rest of the ones that were completely burned down. One of those unfortunate places was Jimmy Pesto's Pizzeria.

"Hey Tina cheer up." Louise said to her older sister, knowing full well how dramatic she can be whenever something ruined her chances in spending time with Jimmy Junior. "Besides, Ollie and Andy told me that they were staying at Sand Flea motel, so it's not like they're in another state or anything."

"Uhhhhh…." Tina groaned, practically feeling her heart pooping its pants as the crushing blow of not being able to see Jimmy Junior for a week bothered her. Normally, she wouldn't mind spending time with her family, but she could have sworn that for the past few months now, they were closer than they were. For one thing, Jimmy Junior actually invited her to watch a few of his dance practices, which should bother anyone else since it took 8 years for the boy to ask her to come along. Still, in Tina's heart, it was a win.

"Tina honey, after that fire incident, Jimmy Pesto was so upset that he practically dragged his sons to head out. He didn't want to show anyone his face after the fire ruined his restaurant." she explained.

"You mean he didn't want to show his face to me." Bob interjected as he made a turn. He suspected that Tina didn't mind being away for a week, it was the fact that she didn't get to say goodbye. He knew his daughter lived for romantic moments, and probably hoped for a kiss before they left, something he didn't even want to think about. He had nothing against Pesto's son himself, but he refused to be linked with that…that…that…soap dish.

"Bobby!" Linda scolded, shooting him a glare.

"Well cheer up T." Gene said. "A little R and R would be good for you. Who knows? You'll probably find something better."

"Like seahorses!" Linda said excitedly, which instantly made Tina feel better.

"OR SHARKS!" Louise cheered.

"Don't forget speedos!" Gene reminded them.

The word _speedos_ echoed in Tina's mind. She lifted her head from where it rested against the glass window and a few scenarios instantly played in her mind. Boys with speedos, their delightful bodies being surrounded by seahorses dancing under the sea as the tight and wonderful material kept their package and their butts in place.

She left out a soft moan. Speedos were a gift from heaven. Her heart sang at the fact that she could scope out tall muscular men who were wearing them at the beach. The outlines of the butt aroused her to no end.

Yet somehow, her fantasy of butts were interrupted as the tall muscular lifeguard in her mind shifted to Jimmy Junior. Of all the butts in all the places in all the world, nothing to compare to his.

"_**NOOOOOOO**_." Tina groaned once more as Linda exclaimed excitedly that the Belchers have arrived at Tankini beach town.


	2. You Again

_Note_: This is quite a short chapter. I debated on putting this on the first one but I figured it would work nicely in a shorter one. Enjoy!

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><p><span><strong>Summer Belchies<strong>

Chapter two: **You Again**

"Alriiiiight, Tankini beach!" Linda exclaimed, climbing out of the station wagon and walking around to the back of the car to help Bob pull out the luggage.

"Wow, it actually looks clean as far as I can tell." Bob noticed, surveying the beach house from where he stand. He never knew Vanessa's house was situated at some upscale neighborhood near the beach.

"Well prepare to be disappointed." Louise smirked, picking the set of keys to the house from the back pocket of her father's board shorts. Together with her siblings, they walked up to the front porch of the off-white painted house. A tall two-story residence with large windows, Louise was definitely prepared to see what monstrosities were beyond the doors.

"I hope there's going to be a bunch of witchcraft crap Aunt Vanessa left behind." She said excitedly, trying on every key that was on the chain. Who knew there were so many locks for that place?

"Like Cousin Itt." Tina guessed.

"Or Gordon Ramsay." Gene added in.

"Or all of them." Louise said hopefully.

"Alright kids, now that we're here, I need to tell you that we're not going to have the house all to ourselves." Bob called out but was left ignored by the excited children, who raced inside the house as soon as the doors were open.

"That's right babies, we're all going to stay with—"Linda called out after them, but was unable to finish her sentence when her words were drowned out by Louise's scream, causing a few birds who were perched on the rooftop to fly away in fear.

"**YOU!**" Louise said viciously, her eyes met a pair that belonged to a familiar figure from her past.

"Good to see you too, four-ears." Logan Barry Bush smiled with amusement.

"Oh hey Logan." Bob greeted, pulling in his luggage with Linda, oblivious to the tension in the house.


	3. Soft toilet paper for Bob's butt

Summer Belchies

Chapter three: **Soft toilet paper for Bob's butt**

_Authors note_: I don't own Bob's burgers. I'm a poor person from Asia.

Also to the one anon who asked about the ages, yes I subtly added that in the fic because I figured even if they aged, they wouldn't change much. I also wanted to see if people noticed or not.

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><p>"Oh hey Logan." Bob greeted, pulling in his luggage with Linda, oblivious to the tension in the house.<p>

"Hey Mr. B." Logan greeted, his smug smile directed to Louise was immediately replaced with another that likened to an angelic look specifically made for unsuspecting parents. At twenty-two years old, the blond boy still managed to charm most adults when he felt like it.

Louise, however, felt like she was going to vomit bile. Perhaps she should, that way she could project it towards his face.

How long she stood there, she didn't know. At seventeen, not much has changed about her looks except for the blatantly obvious. Her hair was still kept in twin pigtails and the ubiquitous pink bunny-eared hat still sat on the top of her head where it belonged.

_Well, I was right about one thing…_she thought wryly. She was most definitely disappointed. 

"I didn't expect you here to be so early." Logan commented. As soon as the luggage was piled by the stairs, Logan waited for the Belchers to huddle up before he gives them the "tour".

"Well we couldn't wait!" Linda clapped, excitement bubbled in her tone as she clung unto Bob's arm.

"Glad I cleaned up the place a little bit then." Logan smiled, although that wasn't saying much since the people in the cult were actually neat.

"Woah what's this?" Tina asked, staring at the stained-glass window art at the center of the ceiling, tilting her head as she tried to make out what it is.

"It looks like an omelet." Gene guessed.

"Or Sandy Duncan." Linda added in.

"Everything looks like Sandy Duncan to you, Lin." Bob sighed.

"No that's the sun. Technically the sun god, but it's the artist's interpretation of what he looks like." Logan explained.

"Nice abs." Tina couldn't help but notice, sighing romantically at the detailed lines of his sexy stomach.

"Anyway Logan, maybe you should show us around." Bob interrupted. Despite Tina being already twenty-one, there were some things that never changed. In this case, her fascination with the male body never left.

"Right follow me." Logan agreed and started the tour. 

There really wasn't much to the tour. The shared cult's beach house may be large but there was rarely anything excited nor interesting to Logan, except maybe for the few doilies and odd posters around. There was a time the house used to be some sort of bed-and-breakfast so that may explain it.

Logan, who wanted to spend his summer at the beach decided to take care of the place while the cult goes on a missionary trip so he can earn some extra cash while he's staying.

Bob and Linda were just as friendly as Logan had remembered as a teen. The only thing that changed about them were the obvious signs of aging.

He vaguely remembered the other Belcher children as well. The eldest one grew taller and still wore the same glasses as she did as a kid, except her hair was tied up in a ponytail now so she probably let it grew out.

The other one didn't change much either except for the obvious growth in height. He was still as fat as he was as a kid but his hair was longer now, and Logan noticed that he seemed to enjoy wearing dangly earrings nowadays.

However, it was the youngest Belcher that Logan Barry Bush could remember distinctly. From her pink bunny ears to her fiery personality, little Louise Belcher was someone he could never forget.

Except she wasn't so little anymore was she? Logan may think of her as a spawn from the depths of the underworld but he knew a hot girl when he sees one.

The immediate thought caused his cheeks to burn. Hot?!** HOT?! **What the hell was he thinking?! He was twenty-two for crying out loud! He shouldn't even look at seventeen year-olds no matter how hot they were, and finding an obnoxious, evil, maniacal sociopath who once set a biker gang on him for revenge was a rule he did not intend to break.

"Right so you'll be staying here." Logan directed them to the bedrooms. He was already done with the downstairs tour, amused at how the Belchers seemed to be impressed with everything. He had momentarily forgotten that not everyone was privileged. Not that he cared much about it. Sometimes he liked the Belcher family much more than his own, no matter how weird they were.

"Ooooohhhhh...mini fridge! Fancy." Linda clapped her hands, already settling inside as soon as the door opened to the master bedroom. "Oh my god! Bobby! Bobby! The bathrooms have those soft toilet paper for your bobby butt that you love so much." She cooed.

"Oh my god." Bob muttered under his breath, although his embarrassment over his love for incredibly soft toilet paper subsided as he looked at the whole room with delight.

"**BOBBY FEEL THE TOILET PAPER FOR YOUR TUSHY TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS AND FEEL IT!"** Linda said loudly, emerging from the bathroom and holding in two rolls of toilet paper for Bob to feel.

"No Lin…not now." Bob said but was unable to convince his wife as she ran towards him before grabbing his pants and trying to tug them down. "No Bobby you gotta feel it! Come on put your butt on it!"

"No Lin!" Bob said loudly, trying to pull her off but she was a lot stronger than he was.

"Anyway..." Logan called out, escorting the rest of the kids out of the master bedroom. He may like the Belchers but Linda asking Bob to feel with toilet paper with his butt was not something he wanted to hear. 

"This is ours." Logan told Gene, opening a second door that revealed a spacious bedroom with two large beds. On the right bed that was placed near the window, a lone helmet sat on the rumpled blankets while his skateboard was casually tossed on the wooden floor.

"Hmmm…Egyptian cotton." Gene sighed with content, having already tossed his duffel bag against the wall before rolling around on the bed, feeling the softness on his skin with his eyes closed.

"Get a room Gene." Louise piped up.

"Well technically this is his room so…" Tina added in.

"Speaking of which let's go to your room."Logan said and gestured the girls to get out of there so he can show them to their room as well.

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><p><em>Final note<em>: It wasn't meant to end here but I haven't worked on a new chapter because I was busy so I figured I am just gonna put in this one since it was the last chapter I wrote on my notebook.


	4. Bacon Torture

_Author's note_: Read it and weep. Holla!

_Disclaimer_: Same rules apply.

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><p><span><strong>Summer Belchies<strong>

Chapter 4: **Bacon Torture**

Louise Belcher was not convinced by the blond boy's charms. The fact that he was able to charm the rest of his family was making Louise sick. After they left Gene behind, (who was already lying around on the bed in his underwear), the two sisters followed the unofficial tour guide of the house.

"So you came here early?" Tina asked Logan, making polite conversation.

"Yeah, I wanted to…" Logan said, "It's summer, and I wasn't going to go back to Ocean Avenue. Heard there was a fire..." he said.

"Where are your parents?" Tina asked.

Louise hung back slightly, looking at all the framed photographs on the wall, while the Tina and Logan were heading to the third flight of stairs. An array of "history" circling around the Xenon cult were arranged in chronological order. One picture in particular was set in the 1870s where a Xenon follower was strapping a man to a chair with bacon.

"_The Bacon Torture_" the caption said beneath the fraying photo.

"Woah." Louise said. She never knew bacon was a means of torture, she was going to have to remember that for future reference.

"Off to St. Barts. Mum loves it there." Logan said, and was about to unlock the door when he realized that Tina seems to be the only one present so far.

His eyes narrowed as he was already suspicious as to where the youngest Belcher was off to. His instincts told him that she was wandering off to find some sort of means to create chaos, and as much fun as that would be, Logan was in no mood to get on the Xenon cult's bad side if something were to ever happen here.

"Okay here are the keys, I'll be back. Reckon your sister is trying to cause some trouble again." Logan sighed as he excused himself and went down the stairs.

He assumed Louise was on the ground floor, he always figured she hated tours and wanted to explore on her own. Logan wondered if she was with her brother, probably trying to convince him to give her the bigger room. Perhaps she went out of the house, possibly trying to wander off on her own, not that she was his responsibility but what would her parents think?! They'd probably blame her, and he didn't want to get on their bad side. Heck, he'd rather be on the Xenon cult's bad side than the Belcher family.

Too consumed in his own thoughts of the possibilities of trouble happening, he failed to notice a figure practically in front of him, surveying the photos on the wall with a thoughtful expression.

Their bodies collided and the two rolled off the stairs and landed on the second flight.

"Ow!" Logan groaned, shaking his head and looking down at whatever it was that distracted him.

"Ugh my head." Louise groaned, rubbing her temple.

_**What the hell was that?!**_ She opened her eyes and stiffened at the realization that her nemesis was hovered over her in an intimate position. Their bodies close in awkward closeness when the idiot knocked her off her feet.

"What the hell?!" Louise hissed, followed by a surprised yell from Logan, who was startled at the position they were in and immediately pulled himself away from her.

The blond stood up to his feet, dusting the front of his shirt as he tried to remain his cool. Immediately forcing his mind to erase the image of Louise Belcher with her hair fanned out around her, her cheeks flushed, and her body vulnerable underneath his build.

"Oh there you are." Logan scoffed. "Thought you'd be starting a fire or something, short stuff."

Louise's face burned and she too stood on her feet, leveling her gaze with his.

"Not yet but keep acting like that and maybe I will!" she said coldly. Eyes narrowed as she hated being called "short". Okay so she wasn't over 5'2 but so did a lot of people.

Logan smirked. He always enjoyed these moments. Anything to get a rise out of Louise Belcher was worth a punch to the gut. It felt like old times and Logan had no intention of ending that privilege as long as they were both under the same roof.

"Woah." Tina blinked, watching the two on the second landing while she was on the third, already curious as to what the summer may bring.


End file.
